Some friends and I have a standing dinner hang every Tuesday evening, the location of which changes often. This week, we were supposed to meet at my place so I could get some long-standing chores out of the way. But some wires were crossed, two friends unwittingly staged a coup, and we had to meet at a different friendās place. Ordinarily this would have been fine but having to go in to office + flare being generally bad this week meant that I was Not Happy with the turn of events. By the time I met my friends, it was clear that the whole location change was unnecessary. So what did I do? I had a tantrum.
I was mad at my friends and I made it clear. They let me rant, validated that my irritation was warranted, acknowledged their respective parts in it, and fed me chai and biscuits to make me feel better. We ended up having a good evening regardless (and I secured an IOU š).
Conflict is hard to deal with for most people, even those of us who have lots of practice at it. My personal metric for how reliable a relationship with someone is, is the way I have been able to resolve conflict with them. Conflicts are also inherently harder in groups because there are just more forces on the playing field. Iām not saying you should have a fight with someone to make your relationship stronger! I am saying that despite this particular group of friends being newer to me, I feel safer in my dynamic with the group than I did before my tantrum because I know there will always be space for me.