I’ve been in the mood for romance. I want to get into a characters head where they talk about their feelings. I want to know that there will be good things at the end of the story. I want to read about intensity and passion, the reasons of which I will not get into because you are not my therapist.
Traditional published romance is boring, predictable, and full of good tropes executed badly. Queer romances, even the ones on all the bestseller lists are set in worlds badly built, with stilted dialogue, and caricatures for characters. I have started and dnf-ed over 5 books that are like this! Published books are fine for SF/SFF/HF, but to satisfy my more basic emotions fan fiction is the way to go.
Imagine taking a vacation with your 5 favorite people. You have the comfort of familiarity, and the excitement of everything else being new to explore. Hermione is a doctor, and Draco is a detective. Zuko is an artist, and Sokka works in a coffee shop. And yet; Hermione remains clever and wanting to do research, Zuko talks little and holds his values close to his heart.
Okay, fine, you are my therapist. There’s a lot of change on the horizon. I don’t know what it is, but I feel it coming. I don’t know what happened to my sense of purpose and I’m desperate to acquire a new one. Consuming narrative has always been my drug of choice, and with this kind of narrative, I have my pick of subject matter, and fan art and community comes for free! For now, I think fan fiction is the narrative of choice for me.