Month of April

Month note again #

Life #

• What a set of weekends. By April 14th I had slept at 4am for 5 days straight - that Sunday saw me almost reach a reasonable bedtime but then a friend needed some rescuing from a place far away. I am comfortable telling friends to fuck off but there is a class of problems that I will always respond to, as part of my personal code. So I drove the car Nats very kindly lent me an hour to pick up the friend and bring them back. Then at like 6am after feeding the friend I put the friend in the bed Nats very kindly lent me and took the couch where I didn’t realise how time passed until I woke up. #

• I’m very fire nation in the way I can’t be asleep when the sun is up so Sunday (April 12th) was very grumpy and I may have not been as nice as I liked. But I got tipsy and looked at water and didn’t pet a horse. #

• Monday (April 13) I needed to go home. So I made the decision at 6pm and was in my own bed in Bangalore by midnight. I love my life. I even got a friend to come over that evening to help debug my brain. Bless. #

• The couch broke three times in ten days. It is currently turned over as we speak. #

• I discovered the joy of a Dyson V8. My cushion covers look a different colour! And maybe I understand why my allergies are so bad at home. I need to get the dust mites out of everything, and soon. #

• This Saturday at IWC 27 people showed up even though we only put out tickets three days before the event. Yay! #

• I styled a piece I have had in my closet since October 2024. I felt like a fairy. 10/10 #

• I met finally met Sohom’s parents. This year will be ten years of knowing Sohom, and eating Kolkatta biryani his mom made was something special :) #

• Harshal turned 30 in my house! So we threw a party, it was lovely. I need to do another soon. #

• Shruti held a dissent in poetry writing workshop at underline.center that was incredibly powerful. I was having a day so I embarrassed myself by nearly crying in my introduction. Poetry can destabilise and ground in strange and scary ways. #

• Anik hosted a dinner at his lovely flat in [very far away] that I’m so glad I made the effort to go to. Excellent food and company - and I finally got to meet Malcolm! #

• I spent 3 soul-healing hours at DMart with Calra choosing boxes. Buy groceries with friends, it is always more fun to do errands together. #

• I did a chill Sunday morning with Matcha and Roshni. #

• I have acquired a Stanley cup. I am now regularly drinking 6L of water a day so this is an objectively excellent thing. (I need to drink more than the recommended amount because I take both protein shakes and creatine) #

I’m realising that my identity is mostly made up of the people I surround myself with and the things I do. So in any decision I need to make, I don’t ask myself “what will I like” but instead “does this sound fun to me and the people I love?”. This means that I’m good at creating community and I’m the plan maker in the group, but if you take that away, I don’t really know who I am, and what I want. This year is the year of centering myself and finding out. #

My decision making framework is “say yes if it sounds fun”. And I have large batteries so I say yes to lots of things, and I feel like I’ve lived such an excellent whole life already. Now I’m a little… bored of making decisions that way. I don’t want to do anything just because it’s fun anymore. #

I have done a lot of what childhood Tanvi needed and wanted. I have excellent family and friends to surround myself with. I’m part of several communities where I give and take of myself. I have a job that is challenging and is pushing me to grow in new ways. I have a beautiful home and the skills to feed myself and my loved ones well. And I have the security that I can keep all of these things even if I fall horribly sick again. ¹ #

So… what next? I’m going to be a giant nerd. I have been following my curiosities where they lead. It’s been incredibly fulfilling. I’m going to change the way I make decisions to allow for depth and precision (as opposed to the breadth of new experiences I’ve optimised for all this time). It is an incredibly exciting time for me and I’m so glad you’re along for the ride :) #

Health #

• Started an immunotherapy course that will run for three years and involves large amounts of money to bring my dust allergies under control. #

• As part of starting this course I’m supposed to be on a whole host of antihistamines, steroids, and other medication. What was I actually doing? Nothing 🤡 On Day 7 I noticed that I couldn’t breathe (!) but I didn’t actually do anything about it until Day 10 - my day off - when I was like hmm I have so much energy in my brain but my head hurts and my body hurts I wonder why?? And then had too much brain fog. I had to call two friends - one to help me get the prescription from the doctor and the other to get me the meds. I don’t have an oximeter at home but I could feel that something was wrong, all the shakes that are generally under control came back. God I am such an idiot. #

• I am now religiously doing nasal spray steroid at 6am, rotahaler at 8am, immunotherapy at 10am, Allegra after food. But I’ll keep the clown makeup on. #

• good month for movement. Football every weekend. Did pickleball once. I’ve run like 4 times. I did my personal best - a 6min km - on a day I set out to run randomly and didn’t even feel like I was doing much. I don’t know what changed but I’m finally feeling that running is something to look forward to. #

• last two weeks have been flare. Appetite got worse but I dealt with it. Had two nights of insomnia but I dealt with it. More pain days than usual but I’m dealing with it. Not only have I got this but I’m thriving. God thought she could nerf me with this but she can only try so hard #

• Brain rotted harder this month than others, ngl. For one, I’m back to thinking in meme. Why. They’re not even good memes, they’re all from 2019. #

• My attention span is in the gutter. I blame what I’m going to call dopamine-driven programming. I need to go back to a place where I can look at a horizon on a daily basis. #

Work #

I am really enjoying having a weekend where I am not thinking about work. I am not even going to think about it enough to write this weeknote. #

Learning #

Things I couldn’t write TILs about but wanted to #

• how to make black sesame milk #

• how refresh tokens work #

• what the crispy layer in Gyoza is made of #

• the evolutionary path of purrs #

• The difference between the various kinds of detergent #

Things I want to be able to write TILs about but probably won’t #

• Mafia meta #

• Straw length vs diameter vs mouth feel #

Media Diet #

Reading #

Finished #

• All Eyes on Us #

• Walking Practice #

Reading #

• The City we Became #

Watching #

Thanks Nats, for putting me on Heated Rivalry. You know I love fan fiction, and I enjoy good cinematography, so I am so down for high quality romance fan fiction on the screen. I have only watched two episodes so far. I am… savouring it. Talk about Yu(u)ri on Ice. #

I also started Hacks! I love shows that don’t center traditional romances. Hacks follows a young idealistic frankly innappropriate for the workplace comedy writer and her employer, a 70yo proudly politically incorrect well established comedian. #

I don’t think I’ve seen a single straight character on this show yet… #

Listening #

Did I talk about Daft Punk last time? I did. Shruti did me the honour of making me a personal disco playlist (that I can’t link to because it is private) which I have been playing non stop. But I can’t think of any other artist or sound that has captured my imagination as nicely. #