Woah! I knew I’d skipped two weeknotes but I didn’t realise my last one was from last year. Yes, I was dying and it was a cause for alarm, but the chaos was planned for (as much as one is able to, really) and I… well, I survived.
The big thing at work is that we released prescreen.alt.inc! It’s an interactive, hard screener for people applying to full stack roles with us - hyper specific, but the experiment was primarily around figuring out how we can get an LLM to be stern, bossy, and sound like a real person. For the launch, apart from writing front end code stitching our agents on letta and our agent service together, I
The process of getting here was stressful. For a month leading up to launch date we prepared for a showcase demo, and then on the Wednesday before the launch date (when I’d already been working ten to twelve hour days for a week) the decision was made to do a private beta kind of launch instead… which meant we had to think about a mobile interface and a freeform agent experience post-screening - both large features in their own rights. To say that weekend was hard would be understating it. Jan 2nd to 12th was crunch, but instead of crashing after launch day (like I had expected to) the momentum carried me through that whole week… and then I crashed this week instead.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I worked myself into a flare, rather than the flare showing up and then affecting how I work. Somehow I made it through the flare? But now it’s the week after launch, and my body is taking revenge. I am so sleepy and tired all the time, and the knots are BAD, friends. There is only so much a tennis ball can do.
I have
In this period of intense strife, what’s been keeping me sane? Other people, and having things to look forward to.
Azan emotionally blackmailed me into doing a social thing for new year’s eve. It was a long drive, so obviously I kidnapped Ankur, but I got a brilliant black sesame chicken out of it.
The girlypops did a fantastic drunk dinner at Dolphins, and I discovered that I might like having a neighbourhood bar I go to, and that I enjoy ginger in my cocktails.
I did one (1) session of football which was too little! I need to get running again, bad knee be damned. Desperately looking for groups in central Bangalore who will take a bad but enthusiastic player into their regular rotation.
Makar Sankranti was excellent. The carrom board I gifted dad earlier has become a regular fixture at any events happening at home.
Shruti has been working from my office - and more importantly, she’s been driving me to and from work, and keeping me hydrated and focused in the space. Offices are nice, but if you can? Work in physical spaces with the people you love.
The parents have been staying at mine the last few days. It’s meant that I have had to do a little more caregiving than I usually would, but I think it’s paid of. The goal was to show mum that I’m not alone, and that I won’t ever be alone in my everyday life (she would know that if she read this blog but it’s probably a good thing that she doesn’t haha). I gave friends a heads up that mom would be here, but otherwise didn’t change plans in any way - people came over and coworked, we had meals and gossiped and made impromptu plans, I went out for the things I was scheduled for and came back late, I did all my phone calls to catch up… I think mum finally understands what I mean when I say I have community. She says she trusts that I can take care of myself, but I hope she can now trust that I can find peace and joy in the doing.
All of my community in the last few years has hedged on physical presence. The few friends I have that I /don’t/ hang out with at least once a month I have because they put in the effort to text me or engage with me online. I’m not going to blame this on no social media any more - yes, it helps, but a lot of the friends I want to talk to more aren’t on social media (or aren’t on it in a vulnerable way) anyway. I want to believe that time out of touch doesn’t nullify the depth of a friendship, it doesn’t mean we’ve grown apart… but as people change, the growth apart is only natural. I’ve tried putting recurring tasks on my todo list to call X, Y, and Z, but that makes the relationship feel like a chore! How can I build lasting relationships with people I don’t see (and therefore don’t think about because my brain works this way)?
I thought I’d read a lot in the last three weeks but turns out it was only one whole book?? I am very confused.
Read The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi - started with the audiobook, and finished with the text. I honestly enjoyed the audiobook a lot more, but I needed to tear through it somewhere around the 50% mark. This felt like a book written for Very Mature twelve year olds. I initially disliked it but as the pacing picked up, so did my interest in the shenanigans. I will be reading the next instalment. This book has also made me want to rewatch Life of Pi.
I’ve been mostly listening to albums, and then listening to autogenerated playlists containing various tracks from those albums.
Nessa Barrett’s AFTERCARE: sad dance pop and excellent for the evenings. Fuji Kaze’s HELP EVER HURT NEVER: jpop that feels like pop. A clean sound that reminds me of 2007. The Kid LAROI’s Before I forget
A friend introduced me to The Favors, and I’ll probably add them to the rotational playlist but not care about the album too much.
I continue to listen to a LOT of all the pop and alt girlies - Lola young, Aubrey Hobert, Olivia Dean, RAYE, etc
