Work #

I can feel myself being more curious about tech again. This week I’ve been looking into WebRTC things. Next week I will probably do some UX things. I would like to pick up Go at some point? I’m thinking of the internet and lots of side project ideas as pipes I need to build. I need to acquire a red hat and a moustache. #

For a long time I was not able to approach any past work without feeling shame. I always felt like I could have done better, been better. That may be true, but #

1. Shame is only useful as a spurring agent for changing behaviour #
2. I know I’ve changed that behaviour (or at least set up the foundations for it?) so it’s time to let the shame go.
   This week I was better about it. I wrote lots of words on my work page without spiraling or procrastinating or self-soothing. #

I know I have very strong opinions on software estimation. I haven’t lead a team so I have been hesitant to talk about them. Ishan has been encouraging me to write with authority so I’ve been putting these thoughts down, and they are a lot! I will inflict them on you at some point. To my non-tech friends who follow this blog mostly for my life updates, I apologise in advance. Your eyes can glaze over this one just like it did with my poetry from last month. #

Life #

Somewhere in the last year when I wasn’t paying attention I became a new person. I’m changing some aspects of my life in strange and horrifying ways, but it feels okay because I did all this work within myself already. #

RC Coworking has been a great place to feel like I can do things with tech. I even dug out some of my very old conference T-shirts and started wearing them again. June 23 - June 24 I wore a LOT of saris, and it’s not a surprise to anyone who sees me regularly that I find fashion terribly interesting. I have been feeling a casual vibe lately, but I’m looking forward to styling these tees in weird and wonderful new ways. #

I wasn’t going to spend time speed puzzling (and I’m actually taking a step back from puzzling this month in general) but I attended Piece Off this weekend and I had so much fun! Our brand new beginner’s team came in 3rd place, we came in 6th for pairs, and I had to leave halfway through the individuals but I learnt how to play puzzle chess as a result and I am obsessed. #

I’ve been thinking about the work we put in by ourselves. The bamboo grows slow because it spends more time on its roots, after which it grows fast and strong and you cannot kill it. A friend who has spent the better part of the last 5 years in her house doing literally any hobby she felt like (Woodworking! Skincare! Cyanotyping! Zine Making! Science Fiction Writing! Baking! Jewellery making! Lithography!) instead of a day job, is now looking at moving out of the city, suddenly doing all of these workshops for people and art projects and looking to set up a studio. She didn’t do anything by halves, but she did it by herself and now she’s taking off. I’ve spent lots of the time in the last year unhappy with myself. It felt like I was treading water. But now I am feeling energy? It’s not a true overarching sense of purpose like I want (yet), but I feel a curiosity and I am unafraid to pursue it. I’ll take it. I’m not just happy, I’m hopeful for my future in a way that I haven’t been for a long time. #

Health

This week I #

• Did a kick up to get into a handstand on a wall! #
• Walked across the entire length of the gym while in chakrasan! channeling Ellen #
• Got into a chakrasan from a stand!! (I’ve been training this via a wall for two weeks now) #

Maybe one day I will even do a push up and not die :grin:
(I hate the idea that pushups are easy to do. Tissues are distributed differently in bodies of different sexes!) #

I’ve been doing so much cool stuff with my body lately. I’ve been on a high, feeling untouchable, but today I held a 5-month-old for twenty minutes and my old friend right arm pain showed up immediately. It’s been really hard to type this. #

Learning #

Curiosity! Is back baybe! I haven’t had the time to follow all my threads but I am actively learning for work again and that is making me so happy. #

Mandarin vocab has also been going well. I need recommendations for short stories etc to listen to that are at the HSK1 level! Need to spend 2h trawling YouTube for this soon. #

Media Diet #

Reading #

1. Okay so I did it. I started Pride and Prejudice. Fuck, I need a Darcy in my life. #
2. I continue to enjoy Catch-22, even though it continues to be about wartime. #
3. I feel like I’m hitting the bottom with the longform Dramione. I need to find a new series and find a new ship. No, it won’t be Jane Austen inspired. #

Listening #

LOVED the Cyrus and Sultana albums. I am looking for, strangely, more drum and bass music. #

Around the web #

1. This rare (in my circles) pro-ai take that actually made sense to me. #
2. This Goya piece that captures feelings I didn’t know I had about the word “curry”. I now want to write a similar article but about the North Indian/Tamil Brahmin hegemony poriyal/pallya/sabzifying all my upkaris and taLasans and tambaLis and gashis. #